Pork, pork, pork, who doesn’t love pork? Who wouldn’t travel across the ends of the universe to obtain what is described to be one of the greatest pork dishes ever manifested? I know I would. Especially when New York Magazine (as well as a couple of friends) raves Porchetta as not only the best porchetta sandwich in NY, to one of the best sandwiches, to one of the best overall dishes in NY. I just have to see whether or not Porchetta is the real deal. I found myself wandering into the East Village, and lucky for me (sarcasm), it was right before a rainstorm. As soon as I was about to step in, it started to pour like God wanted to recreate the scene from Noah’s Ark. Instead of having a giant boat full of wonderful cute animals, I had a tiny eatery filled with just one delicious type. You see that glamorous piece of swine over there in the corner? Well it was basically ruined by that one girl sitting right there. As I said earlier, Porchetta is a tiny venue and can barely fit a few people at the dining counter. Since it was absolutely pouring outside, I really wanted to eat my sandwich inside. Unlucky for me, the other diners had no manners and wouldn’t share their space. Some were already finished with their meal and just wanted to take up space to talk, and gave me a despicable glare like I was a leper when I asked them to scoot down. Ugh, I can’t move down because the trash can is getting in the way, okay? It clearly wasn’t. I snapped a few quick pictures and frustratedly took my meal outside and ate in the rain. I got an order of Cooking Greens which ended up being a dish of Kale sauteed with garlic. The dish was bitter and overall pretty disgusting. I’ll take the scalded vegetables in Chinatown over this dish any day. The Potatoes with Burnt Ends were very plain. It’s something that even if it was free and paired with the sandwich, I would be pretty apathetic over. But when you charge customers $5 for potatoes, no thank you. I’ll take my $5 foot long. Finally we get to the main event. The highly touted and recognized Porchetta Sandwich. Was it as good as everyone put it out to be? Simple answer, No. The pork is delicious and the crackling is full of flavor. But it just didn’t hit the spot as I would have expected. Maybe if I had a tiny dish of au jus to dip the sandwich in smooth out the flavor it would’ve turned out stellar. Maybe it was because the rain just drowned out the excitement associated with the dish. Regardless, I was disappointed and would run up a couple of blocks to get a Roast Beef Sandwich at This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef.
Food: 5/10 – To be crowned one of the best sandwiches in New York is a travesty. I love my pork sandwiches, but didn’t absolutely love this one. The inedible sides didn’t help either.
Restaurant Environment: 1/10 – Patrons are heartless bitches. Simple as that.
Service: 6/10 – At least the employee “attempted” to wipe the tables outside for us when it was raining. Next time, just ask them to make some space.
Value: 4/10 – $10 for the sandwich, not good. $5 for the sides, even worse.